Thursday, January 24, 2013

{Project 365} Day 23: Unglued

Every Wednesday from 1:00pm - 2:00pm, I sit in our van during piano lessons.  I read (yes, one can concentrate even with four loud children in such a small place), pass out snacks to keep my children quiet in said small place, write and make lists, call my mom or text friends for a quick "hello", and occasionally work on schoolwork if I'm feeling especially behind that day.
{Project365}: capturing this life - one photo (or so) every day for one year
I started reading Unglued before Christmas but had to put it down.  I knew it was going to hurt like Aslan's claws tearing into my flesh.  This book dives deep into an issue I've battled hard for about six years - one that I feel creeping up on me everyday recently as I allow pressures to mount while desperately trying to stuff them down. 
You see, I didn't know I was a "screamer" until our third son was born.  Frustration, inadequacies, tiredness, trying to control yet feeling completely out of control, things not going perfectly, stress, and a million other emotions welling up inside me to the boiling point.  And then I'd explode all over. 
It was a mess. 
I was a mess. 
Than along came my Titus 2 mentor - not knowing the depth of my struggle - and she began speaking words straight to my heart.  Words of love, mercy, grace, and the need for repentance and reliance on the Lord. 
And my heart began to change.  The Lord was making me new. 
The Lord is making me new. 
Praise God.
I need reminders of this sort all the timeUnglued will be my reminder for this present season.  I'm dying to read it and scared at seeing my sinful ugliness afresh.
"Progress.  Just make progress.  It's okay to have setbacks and the need for do-overs.  It's okay to draw a line in the sand and start over again - and again.  Just make sure you're moving the line forward.  Move forward.  Take baby steps, but at least take steps that keep you from being stuck.  Then change will come.  And it will be good."  (Unglued, pg. 14-15)

1 comment:

Traci Little said...

I can totally relate! The more I cling to Jesus and His Word and allow Him to change me, the more sweet a woman I become. Oh the moment when we find out we are yellers... not pretty. At least you didn't kick a hole in the wall like I did after my 3rd. Or did you? Oh please say you did? haha