Tuesday, February 16, 2010


"A man of knowledge uses words with restraint, and a man of understanding is even-tempered. Even a fool is thought wise if he keeps silent and discerning if he holds his tongue." Proverbs 17:27-28

I've been thinking about words a lot recently. My words mostly. I wish I could say that all my words were wise and encouraging, but the reality is that a lot of my words are ugly and sinful. Some days I really struggle to just be nice. It's true. Oh, it's easy to put on a pretend smiley face, write an upbeat Facebook status and answer the phone like June Cleaver. But in truth, I get easily irritated, frustrated, and angered. Then I vocalize those feelings. It's mostly because I'm too busy being self-centered to actually deal with the situation at hand. Rather than stopping what I'm doing and going to the children to help them work it out, I yell in my fiercest voice from the other room, "Why can't you just do what you know is right? STOP FIGHTING!" Hmm...not so Christ-like or helpful. The solution is simple though. I need to stop. Stop trading the eternal for the temporal. Stop being lazy. Stop being selfish. Take those few minutes to interact face to face with my children during the times when they need guidance. Choose to set a good example. If I've ever wondered why my children yell at each other or speak with an unkind tone, I only have to look at myself. They are imitating what they hear. It's true. It's heart-wrenching. But it's NOT hopeless. Christ is working in my heart and in their hearts. These times of struggle are refining us for his glory.

Here's how I'm learning to deal with my words. The key is to catch myself before I respond in sin. The following questions help me to weigh the words I say:

1. Is what I'm going to say worthwhile? true? necessary? kind? wise? loving?

2. Will it build the other person up or tear them down?

3. Will it honor God?

Here are a few other verses...

"He who guards his mouth and his tongue keeps himself from calamity." Proverbs 21:23

"When words are many, sin is not absent, but he who holds his tongue is wise." Proverbs 10:19

"Through patience a ruler can be persuaded and a gentle tongue can break a bone." Proverbs 25:15


Anonymous said...

Oh Kiley, this is why I love you so! You are real, have a heart that is Jesus', and you speak hope into others' lives. Linda

carole said...

I am so thankful for your honesty coupled with hopefulness.

Mrs. Guthrie said...

Thanks SO MUCH for this!! I struggle with this very thing constantly, too, and this was just the encouragement I needed.... Thanks.

Tarah said...

we are a LOT alike. thanks for this post.

Kelly said...

I so appreciate your beautiful honesty. None of us are perfect, but showing our imperfections to others can be so scary. This is a good reminder to be real. Only then can we really be believable. May God bless you as you stive to be the best wife and mama you can be.

Jennifer said...

I read the post and was going to say - "I Love You!" just as Linda did. You are so real, honest, genuine, reflective. You are so right and I needed to read your post as well. It speaks very much into my life.

The more we reflect Jesus, the more we'll enjoy our children's reflection because they're doing as we do!

Loved spending time with you on Tuesday night. I miss you in many ways and treasure your friendship!