Tuesday, May 27, 2008

Running Hard For Christ

Does anyone, like me, ever feel like other people have it so much more "together?"

I've been reading various blogs (via a new friend's blog) whom I met at our homeschool group. I'm reading about moms all across the country who are making the choice to educate their children at home. I see the materials and curriculum they are using. I see pictures of their schoolrooms. I see the lesson plans they've laid out. I read about the adventures they take with their children. I read about their lives as homeschoolers, moms, siblings, daughters, wives. And, I feel inadequate. I feel like they never have a "bad" day. I feel like they are so much "better" at being everything. I wonder how they make the time to live such great lives. I marvel at their creative blogs. I wonder where they get all their ideas and how they have the energy to do it all. (As a side note...most of the blogs I've read are about mothers of 3 or more boys...). It appears, from my outside, minuscule glimpse, that they are "practically perfect in every way." Thank you very much, Mary Poppins!

I struggle with being real. It is easy to put on a happy face and present what you want the rest of the world to see. I was chatting with a friend the other day about how my blog is positive and upbeat. It's fun and easy to write about the great stuff and hard to admit the not-so-great stuff. Maybe some of you out there think everything is honky-dory all the time at the Farwell's, but I'm being real and it is definitely not. We have some pretty miserable days and it's those days that I really need to check my priorities and attitude. And where is God in this whole picture? The days I struggle most are those where I haven't spent any quiet time with the Lord reading His Word.

BUT...before you think that I am completely self-loathing...I know without a shadow of a doubt that it is not those unattainable super-moms that I need to strive to model. It is Christ! I am learning to be the woman, wife, mom, teacher and friend that God wants me to be. I state in my blogger profile that I "Wannabe more but I'm enough in Christ." I really do believe that statement. I need to be the person that Christ created me to be. Rather than yearning for the "perfect" life of another person, my heart's desire is to yearn for Christ - to live my life as an act of worship to Him, to bring Him honor and glory in everything that I do, to live my life for Christ, to model my love for the Lord to my boys, to help nurture their longing for Christ and then fill in the necessary spaces with loving my husband and boys, teaching to the best of my ability and keeping my home in a reasonable state of "controlled chaos."

Some days, I forget what I know in my heart to be the truth by reading too many blogs, comparing myself to others and society's ideals culminating in a suffocating feeling of lousiness. That is the most important time to tune out all that junk and run for Christ!

I am running hard for Christ this week!

Psalm 119:25-32
"I am laid low in the dust;
preserve my life according to your word.
I recounted my ways and you answered me;
teach me your decrees.
Let me understand the teaching of your precepts;
then I will meditate on your wonders.
My soul is weary with sorrow;
strengthen me according to your word.
Keep me from deceitful ways;
be gracious to me through your law.
I have chosen the way of truth;
I have set my heart on your laws.
I hold fast to your statutes, O Lord;
do not let me be put to shame.
I run in the path of your commands,
for you have set my heart free."

3 comments:

Carole said...

I'm right with you! Great words on an important subject.

Liana said...

AH, the "problem" with blogs - we all like to show the "great side" of what goes on in our lives.

I really should post pictures of our current state of our house. Jeff & I had a yard sale on Saturday & sold our furniture...so we are furniture-less & the living room has nothing in it aside from toys...EVERYWHERE. At first I thought, "this is embarrasing." Then it went to - WHY should I be embarrassed, I have a child - and he's having a BLAST!
Don't compare yourself, Kiley, you do a WONDERFUL job & you love God, your boys, your husband, etc. Kudos to you...

Jennifer said...

Kiley - I love you! You are very transparent. You're an amazing mom, wife and friend...someone that I like to model after. Thanks for being real as you refocus on Christ!!!